Happy Holidays everyone, we hope that this card finds you warm and well. We will be spending the holidays with my family and enjoying time at home in Montana. Even though this year is almost as equally as tumultuous as the last, it has made us deeply appreciate each other and the wonderful life we’ve made in Montana. We hope to see you soon, have the happiest of new years.
Love - Megan, Stuart, Moxie, Ron, Powder, Stella, Scout, and Logan
What an incredible amount of time has passed. Not only has it been 3 years since I last visited this page, but it has been 3 very quick years. As I sit here in Seattle, looking out over the changing autumn leaves, it is hard to look back and realize how much has happened in the last 3 years that I haven’t sat down and reflected on. I guess I was too busy living to really sit back and take stock.
As many people who know me know by now, October is a difficult time. It used to be the passage into fall, with the introduction of crisp air, the most tolerant temperatures of the year, and a time of transition. It still is all of those things, and at times I get glimmers of nostalgia for when October was not also riddled with grief, sadness, and deep adversity. Celebrating the 3rd year of my Dad’s death, I realized how little I had allowed grief to enter. Each October I would distract myself with work or activities in my life and try to truly avoid thinking of him. This October was different. For the first time, my family returned to Sundance to spread his ashes. It felt a little forced, a bit silly, and too soon. But while sitting there, staring up to Stuart Falls and Mount Timpanogas, I realized, I hand’t processed much at all. I hadn’t left the rest of my life to really sit in my grief. To say the least, it was one of the most emotional experiences of my life. Not only were we there to honor the memory of my dear father, but now we were faced with even more loss - my brother, Daniel, passing away only a month earlier in September 2021. It is very rare that you meet someone who has lost both a parent and a sibling, and I have to remind myself of this regularly. To sit in my grief and realize the impact that this will have on my life forever is the most challenging task yet. I will always have grief. I will always need empathy and support from others (two things I rarely ask for and struggle to embrace). I sat in Livingston, a few months prior to this experience and thought, “this is it, I’m finally moving through my grief.” I’ve come to realize that my grief will always be there. It’s how I learn to live my life with it that gives me hope.
Again, on a happier note! I always feel that I’m starting with a tribute to my Dad, so I apologize - but this has been such a large piece of my life, I find it relevant to share. As I mentioned, I’m in Seattle! With great difficulty, I finally made the move of applying for graduate school about 2 years ago. I’m in my second year at the University of Washington School of Social Work and will finish this year with a Master’s in Social Work (knock on wood!). I’m currently working at YouthCare, a nonprofit in Seattle that focuses on addressing homelessness among youth in the greater Seattle area. This has been a wild opportunity that blossomed out of an internship I was doing with them for school. Now, I am the Director of Evaluations and Impact, which really is a convoluted way of saying that I work in program quality improvement across the agency. I always struggle when people ask what I do because it sometimes doesn’t even feel complete in my mind. But, I do it nonetheless.
Stuart has taken on an incredible new journey in his professional life and has started his own business! West Log Lumber was born out of a need to leave the monotony of state work behind and a strong internal drive to dictate his own path. It was not an easy move to leave the stability of a regular paycheck and incredible benefits. It takes a crazy amount of courage to build your own business and it has completely changed our life. Stuart is able to use our property to mill and we even purchased our very own mill! Probably the biggest purchase we’ve made life to date. He has developed a lot of local relationships with loggers, truck drivers, ranches, etc… All in all, 8 months in, West Log Lumber is alive and well!
For the next 8 months, Stuart and I will be living apart while I finish graduate school. It’s pretty crazy to think of how much Stuart and I have lived apart already in the last 10 years and to add another year on top seemed impossible. But, learning to live independently and spend time pursuing our goals has only made us stronger together. I’m proud to say we are a couple that can do that! Not many can. I will be visiting monthly to check up on the whole farm we have - our dogs, horses, cat, and of course Stuart. He has taken on a lot of responsibility to allow me the space to finish up my degree and it is an incredible gift to be able to call him my partner. Of course, it is easy to feel that time is passing incredibly slowly since I’m far from home, but I’m trying to make the most of it - currently sitting outside, enjoying the beautiful Seattle weather before the rainy winter.
Anyway, I hope to continue documenting our life together and our journeys with or without Ruby (who is growing quite old). Glad to have you along for the ride!
Welcome winter! Wow, what a year it’s been. We move into winter glad to finally see snow on the ground again. With our trusty wood stove and our little cabin we are fairing quite well so far. It has been a tough fall for me as many of you already know. With my Dad’s passing, the oncoming winter and holiday season has felt much different. My Mom and Sister were able to join Stu and I for Thanksgiving and my birthday which has been very nice. To be able to share the cozy home we have made here in Livingston with my family has felt refreshing. Despite the new normal we have been trying to make, a consistent hole resides in the middle of our family. We are all experiencing this differently, and being together for the holidays, while extremely fortunate, has amplified the loss we are experiencing.
On a brighter note, Stu and I are both enjoying our jobs highly. Stu has finally settled into a routine, which only makes him more and more comfortable with our new life. He has even started buying some new Montana toys. We have officially extended our trailer family to include a boat and a snowmobile. Fun in every season. At least Ruby has some company in the back pasture during this cold winter. She definitely will not be seeing the sights like she did last winter; especially not since our good old (but expensive) truck has gone off to greener pastures.
As Stuart settles into his new found hobbies and snowboarding, I have also found a new hobby. I have officially started leasing my first horse! Well, not my first, but my first horse as an adult. I figured it was time to finally take the plunge. I am only a few days in and still have so much to learn and rediscover. So, as that progresses I will make sure to keep you updated.
My golden birthday this year has already been blessed with family time and some new art. I hope that as the holidays settle in I learn to sit more comfortably with this feeling of grief. But, I know time will be the only help in dissipating these feelings. More soon!
Hello everyone! I apologize for the lapse in posting. As we moved on from our winter adventures, I was trying to decide if our life was blog worthy. Update: It is. We have had a lot of changes since the last time I prattled on on these pages. Firstly, we have moved yet again! Yes, we were living a vagabond lifestyle, but we were trying to settle down as we reached Livingston. We spent a few months in our container home at Pine Creek Lodge, but now we have moved up in the world.
In the middle of May we moved into a little cabin in the middle of Paradise Valley. We are a bit further south in the valley than we were at Pine Creek Lodge. We also are right in the middle of the valley so we have amazing views. Stu and I have commented many times that we will probably not have such beautiful views ever again. We look over the whole Absaroka range and down towards Yellowstone. We have more space, a large wrap around deck, a wood stove, and enough room for all of our stuff, which is a relief. We enjoyed the living small life a lot, but more space allows a bit less stress.
I am currently working as an admin staff for the local Head Start. We are funded through a local nonprofit called the HRDC. It has been an amazing job. At 40 hours a week, it is hard to not work more, as the job keeps me very busy. Stu is working for a tree service company. He does a lot of shrub and tree maintenance. He is hoping to start working is way onto the "air" crew that specializes in larger trees. It's a great summer job, as he gets to be outside constantly.
The dogs are doing good. They have needed time to adjust to the new lifestyle and house, just as we have, but they are enjoying the deer and large pasture we have. We have spent a few weekends traveling to Minnesota, Salt Lake City, and up to Glacier. Our centralized spot here in Montana allows us to be able to hop away for a long weekend here and there.
Again, I apologize to all those still interested in our lives for the delay in an update. I have come to recognize that this website is more a photo and blog documentary of our life so far. It is just as important to me to keep up, because I know someday we will look back on all of this and love that we kept a record.
I'll be back soon!
